Let It Rain

I respectfully disagree …

I read a meme on social media today that essentially said a parent’s job is to shield a child from the grief and pain of life. While I understand wanting to do this, and at the risk of sounding harsh, I whole heartedly disagree with the sentiment. 

Children need to grow up knowing that life is hard. They need to know that struggle and hard work are what life is made of. They need to know that time and money are precious commodities that you have to work for. They need to know that if a job is worth doing it is worth doing well, and that a job well done can be rewarding. They need to know that sometimes you have to experience the unpleasant or the unplanned. And they need to learn these things from you. 

There are, of course, age appropriate times and ways to do this. But if your children never see you struggle then how will they ever learn to tackle struggle when it comes their way? They are more likely to feel like a failure for having a problem to begin with if they think you never faced something similar. Or they can look at a situation and say “My parents overcame this. I can too!” If the money or time isn’t there they need to know why. And they should be given the opportunity to be a part of the solution. Children are very capable, if taught to be, of helping to earn and save money for something they or the family needs or wants. They can pick up an extra task to help out if they know that getting the work done means they get to enjoy something they wouldn’t have had time to do otherwise. They need to know that you get tired, that you have bad days too; that  everyone does, and that’s okay. 

Even parents are human. You need to give yourself permission to be that. Do  your children the favor of letting them see it. They need to know that sometimes even you need help. They should know sometimes the things you want or need are going to come first. Let them see that relationships are hard but that even when people disagree they can still work through things and love each other; and  that sometimes you just have to let go because a relationship only works if everyone in it is willing to put in the work. 

Let your children see your storm. Let them get a little wet with you. Let them see you rise above the storm and continue moving forward together.